Casino 101: Cap Yourself

Do you know why you can't sleep in Vegas?

Could it possibly be the 24/7 blasting of blinking and flashing lights on the strip? Could it be the heavy volume of people coming in and out of the casino? Or could it be the unique but intoxicating quality of air within the casino floor? The answer is yes.

The flashing lights make it possible for you to ignore that a beehive of activity is occurring, and you'd only be missing out by ordering that twenty dollar move and order room service from your hotel room. There is a ton of people-watching to take part in. Between the scantily-clad women (mainly prostitutes and drunk co-eds), high rollers, and self-destructive frat boys, it is a place of celebration and degradation. And yes, PURE oxygen is poured into the casino so that you will have no choice but to stay awake and be attracted to the colorful slot machines.


So this is your first time in a large casino and it's a given that you are tempted to partake in three things: drinking, partying, and yes, gambling. Even the cheapest of cheap-asses tend to gamble as it is a break from reality and a reaffirmation of the fact that you have money to burn. The biggest problem people have is knowing how much to gamble and when to stop.

A couple years ago, I drove to Vegas for the second time. I was pouting with my date over a hundred bucks that I lost at the slot machines when a very drunk guy around my age stumbled into the bar. He told us both how he had won $20,000 during the weekend.

"A few awesome hands at Texas Holdem!"

So I respond, "That's awesome! So what are you at right now?"

"Seven bucks."

"You managed to lose the twenty thousand within twenty-four hours?" I shoot back.

He answers, "No. All I have left is seven bucks. I gambled the home, the business, everything."

This is obviously a very extreme case, but not completely uncommon in the world of Sin City. My advice? Always have a spotter to either promote you, or steer you away from a long run of bad luck at the tables or slot machines. Take a look at what you currently have as far as your budget, and cap yourself on a daily basis. You have a thousand to blow in cash on drinks, food, and hookers? Take a quarter of that and have some fun. But remember to spread it out. And for God's sake, don't lose your life savings to a Denver Duck machine.