Bar Etiquette 101: Don't Get Bounced From The Fifth

It's Saturday night. You've just been told about the newest trend spot in the city. Let's just call it The Fifth for now. You're rolling with two other dudes and you're skeptic about getting in. It's only a couple hours before your taxi arrives and you want to make sure you have all your bases covered so you and your two GUY friends get in. Sounds simple, right? Wrong.

The most obvious reason you will not get in with your friends is the fact that you have no chicks on your arm. Every club tries to keep the girl-to-guy ration in favor of the female gender. However, there are a few things that bouncers and door men look out for that aren't as obvious to us men. Most of us guys believe that we look, walk, and talk the proper way for any lounge or night club. Here are some of the less obvious indicators that bouncers will turn you away for.

1. Dress Code. It's different everywhere. Not everywhere is like Los Angeles where you can wake up, not shower, and wear a sweat shirt to the red carpet. While places like LA and certain parts of NYC tend to forgive a slightly more bohemian style, nightlife capitals such as Las Vegas and Miami Beach will throw you right the fuck out. If you thought a striped Polo button-down, jeans, and ALDO shoes were adequate in getting you in the club, think again. Hint: You can never go wrong with a solid button-down and suit jacket. This look will always insure that you at least look the part. It's a staple look for Miami. It works in Vegas. And it certainly makes you look sharp everywhere else. Biggest No? Never wear sneakers. Anywhere.

2. Sobriety: Unfortunately, bouncers are trained to spot an insurance liability. Let's say you're the leader of your wolf pack and your friends are half-bombed to a drunken stupor; your chances of getting in, no matter how well you dressed have just been slashed to a marginal chance. Every bouncer knows that if you can't handle your shit on the line, there's bound to be a problem inside. Pace yourself, guys. The inside is worth the wait.

3. Anticipation: Yes, it's a very exciting feeling when you're about to get in the night club. But there's always that guy that keep asking the door man every five seconds, "How long do you think it'll be?" Just like a child, the parent (bouncer) gets more and more agitated until that rope is closed off to you and your pals for good. Keep your crew under control and be patient. Eventually, the bouncer will notice you're cool and not likely to cause a scene, and let you in out of respect.

So, it doesn't take a bribe or acting like a pretentious dickhead to get into a club. Clubs and lounges, in this modern day and age, were designed to let a more inclusive crowd in. It's only the drunk and/or stupid scumbags you see kicked to the curb, not necessarily your average Joe.